How to deal with being an anxious mess

How to deal with being an anxious mess | The LDN Gal

How to deal with anxiety

There is nothing like a bit of brutal honesty at times. Aside from all the ‘new year, new me’ rubbish, anxiety is a demon many have to live with around-the-clock. Here’s how to deal with anxiety.

Many people would not see a person as anxious. In fact, most may even believe they are confident and outgoing – a shock to the system when this is further from the truth.

In the last few months, I have had to challenge my anxiety head on. I’ve had to do this for my own mental health and personal development.

See, anxiety is a nasty beast. It leaves you isolated, disconnected and quite frankly exhausted. So, I made it my mission to change my relationship with my mental health.

How to boost your mental health and mindfulness

Here’s how to centre yourself and deal with anxiety:

  • It is okay to not be in control 24/7 – so what if you are late or say something ridiculous?
  • You can trust people – let people know how you feel and most will be considerate.
  • Talk more – it helps to talk about how you feel and to get a wider perspective on your concerns.
  • Take better care of you – put the dry shampoo down, wash your hair – you’ll feel better for it.
  • Dress up and get out – socialising always does you good, it’s only scary at first – step outside the front door.
  • Make time for you – find something you enjoy and do it often. Mindfulness is key.
  • Enjoy nature – take a walk and reconnect with your thoughts.
  • Structure your day – structure your day but allow for changes when needed.
  • Record your worries – If it helps, keep a diary and include your happy moments too!
  • Challenge yourself – Tackle anxieties slowly but surely and challenge your negative thoughts.
  • Sleep – if you over think too much, go to bed earlier. Also, listen to sleep delta waves (a lifesaver).
  • Be healthy – eat well and work out when possible. As a result, you will feel a lot better in your mind and body.
  • Breathing exercises – take deep breaths in and out for 7 seconds till you feel calmer.
  • Relaxation training – tense each part of your body for 4 seconds head-to-toe.
  • Seek support if needed – there is no shame in speaking to a medical professional. If you need support, contact your GP or local mental health support service asap.
  • Realise it is okay to have bad days! – Give yourself a break and start again tomorrow.

If you incorporate the above, your anxiety should ease up. Learn to centre yourself when you get anxious and utilise breathing and relaxation exercises when needed.

What do you do to challenge your anxiety? Have you tried any of the above?

Stephanie xox

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I am not a medical professional, this is advice based purely on personal experience

Why it’s important to say goodbye to toxic relationships 🙅

Saying Goodbye to Toxic Relationships | The LDN Gal

How to say goodbye to toxic relationships

Sometimes in life, it’s necessary to rid yourself of toxic people, be it in a platonic, romantic or professional relationship. Unfortunately, family can prove a little tougher to deal with.

If a relationship is no longer bringing you joy, then how are you benefiting from it? Holding onto toxic people and relationships only prolongs your pain. At times, you truly need to get out of your comfort zone and put yourself first.

Entering adulthood, you realise that sometimes you just cannot relationship work. If your friends are not supportive of you – are they really your friends?

In essence, life can be difficult enough without having to worry about those who are meant to care for you mentally dragging you down.

To summarise, there are many different types of toxic relationship. Someone can be mentally damaging towards you, emotionally and on the worst end of the scale, physically. Abuse is still abuse no matter what form it takes – and it isn’t acceptable.

Advice - Saying Goodbye to Toxic Relationships | The LDN Gal

The benefits of saying goodbye to toxic relationships

Here are the warning signs of behaviours of toxic people. If any of these are present, then it’s time to get rid. A person who:

  • Undermines you
  • Tries to compete with you
  • Is unnecessarily jealous or envious of your successes
  • Clouds you with negativity (every day seems to bring with it a new tragedy)
  • Gossips incessantly (if they gossip too often to you, they most likely gossip about you)
  • Are not supportive of your goals
  • Act possessive or incessantly needy of your attention (all friends are there to offer mutual emotional support but relationships should not leave you feeling burdened or be one-sided)
  • Are inconsiderate and/or critical
  • Prove to be a bad influence (we inevitably become influenced by our environment)
  • Are at times just downright manipulative

When to say goodbye to a toxic relationship

Indeed bonds can deteriorate, and once someone begins to grate at your patience and sanity, they’re not worth hanging on to. With friends, you should never feel wary. In fact, you should be able to be open-minded without feeling conflicted or irritated.

Obviously, if you find yourself dreading to see a friend, making excuses to avoid doing so and feeling drained if you do eventually meet, then it all becomes pretty self-explanatory.

In short, relationships are complex and require a bit of give and take at times. However, if your relationships are starting to drain you and stop bringing you emotional reward and joy, then it is a drastic warning sign to let that person go. Equally, do so without speaking badly of them, negativity never breeds happiness.

Essentially, friends should make you happier and help you to escape or solve your problems, not cause them.

welcoming happy relationships

Healthy relationships are the only relationships you need. Surround yourself with those who value you and you will soon start to feel a lot better in yourself. All in all, your relationships should bring out the best in you and your own character.

Finally, be sure to remember, “you are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with. So, be brave enough to let go of those who are weighing you down.”

Have you ever experienced a toxic relationship? How did you let that person go? 

Stephanie xox